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But they say coming out is the best thing for you, once you getover the initial shock of it, and everybody in your life gets on withit." Coming out?" Yeah," she replied, "coming out. Telling everyone that you're, youknow, gay. That you're a gay cross-dresser." But I really don't think I can be defined by the word 'gay'."She looked at me kind of funny. "I spent over a half hour last nightsitting on the floor of my freezing cold patio deck fingering myselflistening to you get absolutely fucking pounded by a man. Right?Pounded. I heard it all. I could hear him thumping against you, everytime he drilled you with his cock."Then she looked at me differently, as if a new thought had taken over."What position did he fuck you in?"I smiled. "That time? From behind, standing up. I had my hands againstthe sliding glass door. I didn't take my heels off. They made me theperfect height." That time?" she asked immediately.I smiled even more. "Just after midnight he fucked me again. . No, we’ll insist that she see you.”“I don’t know.”“Mike,” Mrs. Mills implored. “Go home. She’s going to need you strong, even if she doesn’t realize it. Please.”They, and my mom, had made reasonable points, and short of forcing my way into the treatment rooms, I wasn’t going to be able to see Jocelyn before morning, and even then, I wasn’t sure she’d want to see me. Going home made sense, even though I wanted to stay.“OK,” I said. “If you promise to call if anything at all changes.”“We will, Mike. She loves you. She told me that last weekend after you left. We know you love her.”“It wasn’t enough, though, was it?” I asked quietly.I turned and walked back to where Becky was, and waved for her to follow me out to the car. I checked my watch and it was after midnight, so I was reasonably sure it would be safe to walk Becky into the house.“Any change?” Becky asked as I put the car in gear and backed out of the spot.“It’s hopeful. They said her pH is in the range where better than 95% of.
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